It’s a question that has haunted our greatest minds for the past half century.  Who would win in a fight: Godzilla or Gamera?  Well, friends, you have questions but Gimorozo has the answers.  Well, more specifically, we have access to the answers.

I brought this question before my boss.  Not only is he Japanese, but he’s also from Japan and he speaks Japanese!  His response is after the jump.

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I’ve been in 3 different bands.  Yet, I’ve never played a single live show.

This is going to kick off something of a miniseries that will last until it’s finished.   Actually, it might not even last that long…it depends on how lazy I am.

Now, you probably realize that Godzilla means a lot to us here at Gimorozo; but, did you know that there is a great artform revolving around the big G?  Of course, I’m talking about his movie posters.  For each part of this series, we will compare three different posters for the exact same movie and see what three very different countries do to market the King of the Monsters (In case you’re wondering, those three countries are Japan, USA, and Poland).

Let’s start at the beginning.  1954 marked the debut of Gojira in Japanese theaters.  It is a cautionary tale about nuclear warfare from a country still reeling from the devastation of the only nuclear attacks in history (so far…my money’s on Pakistan making the next big move).

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I’ll be honest, what we have here is an artist’s rendition of what Ian’s Grandmom could look like.  Nobody has ever gazed upon this awesome creature and lived to tell the tale.  This reconstruction is based on footprints, feces and teeth and claw marks that were left on the remains of her victims.   Also, the few images of Ian’s Mom that we have were used extensively to imagine what her mom would look like.

Please note, however, that this image should not be viewed by minors unless they are accompanied by an adult.

There’s nothing wrong with a dead body…as long as it stays dead.

I bought my guitar based 100% on cosmetics.

Ok, so I take back everything bad I may or may not have said about Microsoft Songsmith.  This is officially the best computer program ever.  Somebody with the somewhat dubious name of “azz100c” (probably Ian’s mom) has seemingly unlimited access to many, many vocal tracks from various classic songs.  Mr. (or Mrs.) azz has generously decided to run said vocal tracks through Microsoft’s latest abomination creation and unleash them on the world.

Here are our favorites.  Also, please forgive me if this post is disjointed and rambling; I am currently listening to these great songs as I type and I must admit: they’re kind of blowing my mind.

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Michael J. Nelson, Gimorozo salutes you. You truly are a manly man.  For the entire month of February, Mr. Nelson has vowed to eat nothing but bacon, the food of the gods.

I once ate nothing but bacon for a month, then I died.  Luckily, aliens were able to reconstruct my body from spare robot parts and sorbothane, making me the most efficient assassin to walk the earth.  Too bad for them I’m lazy and pathologically terrified of dung beetles or I surely would have helped them take over the world by now.  Oh well, at least I make lawnmowers.  That’s pretty cool, too…right?

Just in case you ever think of doing something illegal and/or unhealthy, heed these words of wisdom from some of the greatest sages of our times:

And I’m throwing this final one in as a totally weird bonus.  If you won’t listen to the advice of a half-naked barbarian, a ghost-magician, and a totally hot blonde princess, then you have serious issues.

Ok, so I had a hard time deciding which evil robot to share with you all today.  I went through stacks of notebooks before deciding on this one.  Actually, I’m lying.  This is just the first robot drawing I came across in my meeting notes.  But trust me, there are plenty more.