And I think it’s gonna be a long, long time.  ‘Cuz I’m a Rocket Robot!

Ah, yes, we all remember that classic tune.  Well now you can relive it with this exclusive, hand-numbered, limited edition Rocket Robot collector’s plate.  Just dial the number on your screen within the next 30 minutes and shipping is free!

What can I say?  Evil David loves his Evil Flying Cake.  And who doesn’t?  The only thing he loves more than being evil is baking.

Yes.  I know you all have been clamoring for the next installment of this exciting series for eons now.  Daddy does not disappoint!  Behold: Godzilla vs. Hedorah aka Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster.

This is one of those Godzilla films with a message.  And that message is: “Pollution is bad.  Godzilla love you long time.”  I, for one, totally disagree with that message.  If pollution is so bad, then how come I’m not a starfish?  And if Godzilla loves me, then why would I watch his stupid movies?  I want to see him destroy Tokyo, not save the world (sorry Japan.)

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I own every album that Shakira has ever released.

Yeah, yeah, I know “Evil Clown” is the height of reduncancy, but you know what?  So is your mom.  Ha!  That one might take a while to sink in, but you’ll wake up in the middle of the night crying once it does.  You’ll also wake up crying if you drink straight bleach before going to bed, but I digress.

This is a portrait of an off-duty clown.  How do I know he’s off-duty?  Because clowns, no matter how evil, can’t smoke while they’re working.  It’s against union rules.  So, if you ever see a clown smoking, you don’t have to run and hide because he won’t try to slaughter you and eat your entrails because he’s off-duty.  See?  You learned a very important survival skill here today.

No, this is not an amateur video like you’re thinking.  It’s a video for the song Amateur by Molotov.  It meets all of Gimorozo’s requirements to be certified awesome.  I’m not sure what those requirements are, but I’ll bet they’re stringent.  Anyway, it’s like Rocky compressed into 4 and a half minutes of pure rock gold.  Enjoy.

Is anyone else hungry?

This documentary goes into the science behind the time-travel used by the Terminators.  It’s pretty complex and gets a bit heavy, but answers a lot of questions about this technology.

It’s a day that happens in every man’s life.  You’re wrapping up a game of D&D with your buddies, sipping on warm O’Douls (because that’s how the Europeans drink it), when you look around and suddenly realize, “By the power of Grayskull, all my friends are complete dorks!”  And you know what?  It’s true, they are dorks.

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Evil David may be the best friend a man could have.  Not only did he drive me to Wendy’s today, but he also bought me a double stack, the food of the gods.

It’s not a good idea to refer to your girlfriend/fiancée/wife as a “hootchie-mama.”  At least, not to her face.

Unless, of course, she is one.  In which case, you should probably find a new girlfriend/fiancée/wife.