This is a moving picture of a dead man with his dead dog on the corner of Dead Street and 42nd Avenue.  It’s summer.  The sun is blocked by clouds and to the east, a young man is discovering Nintendo for the first time.  And everything is leaning slightly.

So, there’s rumors of a prequel to Alien, which has the internets a-buzzin’.  I love Alien and Aliens.  In fact, the only reason that neither made it to The Manly Movie Checklist is that the protagonist is a girl, but I digress…

The point is: I don’t want to be a nay-sayer or anything, but I feel it is my obligation to point out that 66.6666667% of the Alien movies suck.  That’s cold, hard math, people.  And math doens’t lie…I’m just sayin’.

I am often stopped by total strangers in the street and asked, “Good sir, however could I achieve the level of manliness that you exude?”  And of course, I can’t possibly tell them all of my tips in a small amount of time.  The first step is to watch manly men do what they do best–kill stuff.  So, for your edification, I have developed this checklist of the 20 movies you must watch before you can call yourself a manly man.

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If you are here, chances are you have a deep and abiding appreciation for Crap Cinema; that is to say, B-movies.  But…why?

Is it the lack of coherent storylines that you enjoy?  Perhaps it’s the shoddy acting or the awful, rubber monster suits that keep you coming back for more.  Maybe you just enjoy scratching your head and wondering what in the world these people were thinking when they made this movie.

Click the jump for more on my theory.

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Your boss is your mortal enemy.  Never trust him/her/it.

You’ll notice that I used blue ink in this one.  I think the blue really accentuates the feelings of loss and suffering that this skeleton must have.  I think like all true art, this piece really leads the viewer to ask the hard questions: Why does this skeleton lover rock’n'roll?  What happened to his skin?  How can he manage to keep his head upright without muscles and sinews?  Are those spiky things on his skull hair?

Hello, faithful followers.  This is an announcement that Gimorozo is planning a comeback concert this weekend.  Right here.

The wait is almost over.