I don’t usually do portraits of other people’s creations.  That being said, I wondered what Stewie Griffin from Family Guy would grow up to look like.  Well, this is what I came up with.

Not a bright looking future, huh?

Yes, even zombies need recreation.  Also, it helps them stay fit so that they can chase down the living.  Man, I hate the living…

This is a moving picture of a dead man with his dead dog on the corner of Dead Street and 42nd Avenue.  It’s summer.  The sun is blocked by clouds and to the east, a young man is discovering Nintendo for the first time.  And everything is leaning slightly.

You’ll notice that I used blue ink in this one.  I think the blue really accentuates the feelings of loss and suffering that this skeleton must have.  I think like all true art, this piece really leads the viewer to ask the hard questions: Why does this skeleton lover rock’n'roll?  What happened to his skin?  How can he manage to keep his head upright without muscles and sinews?  Are those spiky things on his skull hair?

Ok, I’ll admit it: there is absolutely no quality control here at Gimorozo.  That’s how crap like this gets published.  Oh well.

What we have here is a pair of zombie greasers.  Why would someone draw such a thing?  Godzilla only knows.  And before you hit up the comments with factual errors like: “Hey, man, those sunglasses are totally mod.  A greaser wouldn’t be caught dead in them,” just let me say, “Shut up.  This is art, not history.  There is absolutely no law nor ordinance saying that art has to be accurate.”

Ok, there, I said it.  Yeah, I’m grouchy.  It’s 8:30 on a Saturday morning and I haven’t had any coffee yet.  And I was up all night working on the site redesign, but did you even notice?  No.  Do I get a “hey, Gimorozo, I like what you did with the place?”  No, I get crap from you about the inaccuracies of my zombie greasers wearing mod sunglasses. 

Don’t tell me to calm down!  I AM CALM!!!  THIS IS ME BEING CALM, OK?!  I YELL WHEN I’M CALM!!!  YOU WANNA SEE ME UNCALM?!?!  DO YA, PUNK?!?!  WELL, KEEP PUSHING MY BUTTONS AND–OH, NOW YOU’VE DONE IT!!!

And I think it’s gonna be a long, long time.  ‘Cuz I’m a Rocket Robot!

Ah, yes, we all remember that classic tune.  Well now you can relive it with this exclusive, hand-numbered, limited edition Rocket Robot collector’s plate.  Just dial the number on your screen within the next 30 minutes and shipping is free!

I have seen the future of humanity and this is it: Our brains floating in liquid preservatives and our limbs replaced with industrial equipment.  Is it a pretty future?  No.  But then again, how else are we going to fight the Martian Nazis from Beyond the Grave when they finally attack us?  Answer me that!

What’s this?  The perveyors of Gimorozo art like zombies as well as Batmen, kangaroos, and robots?  Wow, such a high-class site we have here!  Hope you’re hungry, cuz I know I sure am!

Ok, so I had a hard time deciding which evil robot to share with you all today.  I went through stacks of notebooks before deciding on this one.  Actually, I’m lying.  This is just the first robot drawing I came across in my meeting notes.  But trust me, there are plenty more.

You remember your mom always warning you to stay away from those kangaroos from the wrong side of the tracks?  Well, this is one of them.

His name is Ernie and that’s what upsets him most in life.  He wanted a tough-sounding name like Clyde or Keanu.  So, he rebelled against his parents and became a street thug with a chain.  Of course, his parents are upset and have tried to reconcile with him, but it’s too late.  Just look at his eyes (well, you can only see one, but rest assure, he has another eye on the other side of his head).

It’s a dangerous world out there, full of disenfranchised kangaroo youth.