Evil David may be the best friend a man could have.  Not only did he drive me to Wendy’s today, but he also bought me a double stack, the food of the gods.

Michael J. Nelson, Gimorozo salutes you. You truly are a manly man.  For the entire month of February, Mr. Nelson has vowed to eat nothing but bacon, the food of the gods.

I once ate nothing but bacon for a month, then I died.  Luckily, aliens were able to reconstruct my body from spare robot parts and sorbothane, making me the most efficient assassin to walk the earth.  Too bad for them I’m lazy and pathologically terrified of dung beetles or I surely would have helped them take over the world by now.  Oh well, at least I make lawnmowers.  That’s pretty cool, too…right?