Ok, I’ll admit it: there is absolutely no quality control here at Gimorozo.  That’s how crap like this gets published.  Oh well.

What we have here is a pair of zombie greasers.  Why would someone draw such a thing?  Godzilla only knows.  And before you hit up the comments with factual errors like: “Hey, man, those sunglasses are totally mod.  A greaser wouldn’t be caught dead in them,” just let me say, “Shut up.  This is art, not history.  There is absolutely no law nor ordinance saying that art has to be accurate.”

Ok, there, I said it.  Yeah, I’m grouchy.  It’s 8:30 on a Saturday morning and I haven’t had any coffee yet.  And I was up all night working on the site redesign, but did you even notice?  No.  Do I get a “hey, Gimorozo, I like what you did with the place?”  No, I get crap from you about the inaccuracies of my zombie greasers wearing mod sunglasses. 

Don’t tell me to calm down!  I AM CALM!!!  THIS IS ME BEING CALM, OK?!  I YELL WHEN I’M CALM!!!  YOU WANNA SEE ME UNCALM?!?!  DO YA, PUNK?!?!  WELL, KEEP PUSHING MY BUTTONS AND–OH, NOW YOU’VE DONE IT!!!

Yes, Gimorozo does have friends (or at least poorly-paid actors) and these are them. 

This is a guest piece by none other than Evil David!  When he first showed it to me I was like, “Whoa, I didn’t realize you brought a camera to our annual Alliteration Day cook-out!”  And he was all, “No, it’s a drawing that I made…with my mind.”  And I was like, “No way.”  And he was like, “Way.”  So I said, “Can I have some flying cake.”  To which he responded, “Are you evil?”  And I said, “Yeah, kind of.”  And he was all like, “Oh, Yeah?  How evil?”  And I said, “Once I farted in church and blamed my mom.”  And he said, “No way.”  And I said, “Way.”  And he said, “Weigh?”  And I said, “No.  Way.”  To which he replied, “Whey?”  And I said, “NO!  Way.”  And he said, “So…no way?”  And really, how can you argue with that?

Click it for a larger view of this masterpiece.

And I think it’s gonna be a long, long time.  ‘Cuz I’m a Rocket Robot!

Ah, yes, we all remember that classic tune.  Well now you can relive it with this exclusive, hand-numbered, limited edition Rocket Robot collector’s plate.  Just dial the number on your screen within the next 30 minutes and shipping is free!

What can I say?  Evil David loves his Evil Flying Cake.  And who doesn’t?  The only thing he loves more than being evil is baking.

Yeah, yeah, I know “Evil Clown” is the height of reduncancy, but you know what?  So is your mom.  Ha!  That one might take a while to sink in, but you’ll wake up in the middle of the night crying once it does.  You’ll also wake up crying if you drink straight bleach before going to bed, but I digress.

This is a portrait of an off-duty clown.  How do I know he’s off-duty?  Because clowns, no matter how evil, can’t smoke while they’re working.  It’s against union rules.  So, if you ever see a clown smoking, you don’t have to run and hide because he won’t try to slaughter you and eat your entrails because he’s off-duty.  See?  You learned a very important survival skill here today.

I have seen the future of humanity and this is it: Our brains floating in liquid preservatives and our limbs replaced with industrial equipment.  Is it a pretty future?  No.  But then again, how else are we going to fight the Martian Nazis from Beyond the Grave when they finally attack us?  Answer me that!

I was a bit unsure how to categorize this masterpiece.  It is a self-portrait on a styrofoam canvas!  This is almost as exciting as those wacky Amalgam comics–Wolverine mixed with Batman!?!?  That’s crazy!

Anyway, this is more-or-less how I feel after a day at work.  After doing rourtine, automatonesque busywork I am depressed, angry, and have pit-stains.  I also lost a tooth.

Also, I got a new camera, so these things should start coming out a lot better (picture-wise…not art-wise).

What’s this?  The perveyors of Gimorozo art like zombies as well as Batmen, kangaroos, and robots?  Wow, such a high-class site we have here!  Hope you’re hungry, cuz I know I sure am!

I’ll be honest, what we have here is an artist’s rendition of what Ian’s Grandmom could look like.  Nobody has ever gazed upon this awesome creature and lived to tell the tale.  This reconstruction is based on footprints, feces and teeth and claw marks that were left on the remains of her victims.   Also, the few images of Ian’s Mom that we have were used extensively to imagine what her mom would look like.

Please note, however, that this image should not be viewed by minors unless they are accompanied by an adult.

Ok, so I had a hard time deciding which evil robot to share with you all today.  I went through stacks of notebooks before deciding on this one.  Actually, I’m lying.  This is just the first robot drawing I came across in my meeting notes.  But trust me, there are plenty more.