It’s official, ladies and gentlemen: Gimorozo is too sexy.  See the screencap below for proof.  I was trying to visit the site from work the other day (even I can’t get enough of my ramblings) and was greeted by this.  Note the reason.

I once lost my left arm in a game of poker.  Luckily, one of my friends is a cybernetics expert in Reno.  He was able to attach a robotic arm that has a laser pointer in the index finger.

Unfortunately, I lost that in a game of Go-Fish last night.  So now I’m typing all of this very slowly with one hand.

Men are allowed to be rude and obnoxious for no other reason than they are men.

Likewise, women are allowed to be moody and irrational for no other reason than they are women.

It’s the law of human nature.  I didn’t make it up, I merely observe it.  Now excuse me as I go wipe a booger on the tablecloth.

Hello, faithful followers.  This is an announcement that Gimorozo is planning a comeback concert this weekend.  Right here.

The wait is almost over.

Here it is, ladies and gentlemen, after hours (and hours) of hard work it has finally arrived.  You’re wait is over!  Rejoice, world, for the new Gimorozo has arrived!  A new Gimo for a new century.

You may notice the absence of a splash page.  We decided that nothing should stand between you and our hard-hitting journalism.

Sound the trumpets!  A new day has dawned for Geekery!

This post is non-existant.  There is nothing here.

Just in case you ever think of doing something illegal and/or unhealthy, heed these words of wisdom from some of the greatest sages of our times:

And I’m throwing this final one in as a totally weird bonus.  If you won’t listen to the advice of a half-naked barbarian, a ghost-magician, and a totally hot blonde princess, then you have serious issues.

If you were a pre-pubescent boy in the 80’s you had a world of gorgeous cartoon women to ogle.  Some cartoon crushes were creepy (Gadget), but most were a thing of beauty.  Gimorozo proudly takes a walk down memory lane.

5. April O’Neil (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)

Ah, April, the brunette reporter who wears a Bruce Lee-inspired yellow jumpsuit.  She’s smart, witty, and always needs rescuing!  Those are the three things that make up every geeky boy’s dream girl.  How many times have you thought, “Man, if only I were a green, talking reptile with martial arts abilities and a cute human reporter for a girl-friend, THEN nobody at school would ever make fun of me!”

If you’re like us at Gimorozo, you’ve probably thought that way more than you should.

4. Scarlett (G.I. Joe)

Ok, so I knew her for the longest time as “the hot one.”  As in: “Let’s play G.I. Joe, I’m Snake Eyes and my girlfriend is the hot one.  You can be Gung Ho and your girlfriend is that other girl [Lady Jaye].”  No, I didn’t have many friends growing up.

As fiery as her hair, Scarlett was the kind of girl you wish you knew, but were a little scared to meet.  She had a crossbow and could easily kick your butt.  Especially if you were a scrawny geek…which you were.

3. Jem (Jem)

What can you say about Jem that her theme song doesn’t already say?  Nothing!  That’s why I’ll let her theme song do all the talking:

Jem…
Jem is excitement!
Oooo Jem…
Jem is adventure!
Ooooo…
Glamour and glitter,
Fashion and fame!

Jem…
Jem is truly outrageous
Truly, truly, truly outrageous
Woo ooo Jem…
Jem
the music’s contagious (outrageous)

Jem is my name
No one else is the same
Jem is my name

2. Cheetara (ThunderCats)

What?  It was the 80’s, man!  There was absolutely nothing wrong with loving an alien cat-woman who could run 120 mph.  Couple her speed with her bo staff and orange leotard and I didn’t even care what the rest of the ‘Cats did!  We all know that she was the real leader of the ThunderCats, anyway. 

And the spots in her hair and on her shoulders only added to her exotic aura.  Meow, indeed!

1. The Baroness (G.I. Joe)

Skin tight leather.

Jet black hair.

Guns.

Librarian glasses.

Exotic accent. 

Nobody before nor since has made evil look so good.  Yes, the Baroness is the fire that fuels every geek’s dark side.

What can you really say about Monty Python?  They are the absolute funniest act in geekdom.  Or maybe they are the absolute geekiest act in comedy?  I don’t really know, but you’ll be hard-pressed to find a geek who doesn’t love Monty Python.  I’d say it’s a fair bet that we can all quote at least 75% of Holy Grail. 

 So, here we present every geek’s favorite comedians doing a skit about Bruces.

P.S.  Tomorrow we’ll post a real post or two and end our first ever Week of Bruce in style.  I hope you can wait.

Here’s hoping you stay away from the contaminated turkey, lest you become a turkey-headed monster like…the BLOOD FREAK!!!