Ah, it has been a while, but I have returned to my preferred medium: ballpoint pen on styrofoam.  This series is a wonderful representation of the artist’s inner soul: A reanimated monster in a tuxedo trying to save the world that so fears him.  Yes, dear readers, that is me in a nutshell.  Behold!

What we have here is Frankenstein’s Monster with a Martini (the secret agent’s drink of choice)

Frankenstein’s Monster with a Gun.

Frankenstein’s Monster with his Flashy Car…which you can only see the very top of because I wanted to focus more on the conflicting emotions in the monster’s face than on the car.  And also because I started drawing this picture too low on the cup to include the rest of the car.

Hi.  I like monsters.  I like commercials starring monsters.  Some of my favorite monster-based commercials are from the good people at Jack Links Beef Jerky.  When you say their name ( and you should ) try to sound like one of the Duke boys jumping a ravine in the General Lee escaping from the likes of mean ol’ Boss Hog and the incompetent law enforcement of Hazzard county.  There is a company website and if you have not seen it yet click the following link:  Messin with Sasquatch.  It includes all of the TV spots as well as web-only content.  Yes.  I am selling out.

Another favorite commercial is for Pepto Max.  It has a catchy theme song and stunning visuals.  According to the commercial, “Pepto Max is maximum pink.”   I checked IMDB and “Maximum Pink:  the movie” does not exist.  There was nothing naughty or nice.  Though it is only a matter of time.

The appeal of this commercial is that it encompasses 2/3 of the GIMOROZO triumvirate of evil — Giant Monsters and Robots.  If Zombies were involved this would be the perfect commercial.  In fact, the Pepto people should consider using Zombies in an upcoming ad campaign.  Email me.  I got tons of ideas.  It can be done tastefully.  Everything could be acted out with puppets.  Puppets are harmless…if you ignore the following movies:

• Dolls
• Puppetmaster Series (Full Moon Entertainment not the Heinlein one)
• Any of the Child’s Play series
• Meet the Feebles
• Additional movies about demonic puppets or evil dolls.

Maximum Pink.  If the link does not work, search YouTube.

I mentioned the Dukes of Hazzard above, so I feel the need to add the following words of caution.  Do not watch “Dukes of Hazzard:  The Beginning.”  My sister’s dog committed SEPPUKU after watching this garbage.  This shit will kill you.  It even made Netflix sick.  You were warned.